Z-DAY ESSENTIALS - Part One in a New Ongoing Series

ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE GEAR GUIDE: ONLY THE BEST WHEN THE WORLD’S AT ITS WORST. Special insights from Tactical Correspondent KRIS LEBLANC

I only have a couple real concerns about the future. I’ve already destroyed my credit rating beyond any possible hope of redemption so the fear of a predatory mortgage lender taking a bite outta my hide is almost comforting… Nuclear holocaust seems so.. what’s the word, relatively painless? Nooo folks what keeps me up at night (besides researching the back story of Superman productions and general insomnia) is the fear of my doors being kicked in by mindless former human corpses missing limbs and leaking all manner of malodorous putrefying bodily fluids. Yup everybody’s thinkin’ it. I’m just the one sayin’ it out loud. We all know Zombie Apocalypse is upon us. It’s simply a matter of time. So while you waste your time taking ticks off the ever-shortening Z-Day clock updating your Facebook status and adding photos to your albums of pictures of you and all your friends in completely compromising drunken debaucherous poses for which one of your friends, unaware that you tagged him, is likely getting fired tomorrow, I’ve thankfully been collaborating with my resident Espionage, Firearms and Field Gear Guru KRS to bring you this list of the most tactical, instrumental, functional and fool-proof items for the one item all households must have set for emergency: The Z-Pack. Starting with the Pack.

Homework..

=THE MAIN KIT=
The LEVEL III Assault Pack-125 is designed for efficiency and maximum carrying power. Cool-mesh back keeps the sweat a bit further, hydration system compatible, contoured adjustable shoulder straps with D rings. This flexible and adaptable 18x10x10” team assault pack comes complete with 5 stacked compartments great for gear and ammo. Available in colors with super-slick names like Army Digital and Coyote Tan. Amazingly, this sweet baby is available at cheaperthandirt.com for a zombie-slaying $39.97

Not a lightsaber but if you can't get a blaze going with this you wouldn't need one.

The EXO-Tac nanoSTRIKER ferrocerium firestarter takes the “Oh SHIT!” out of having to start a rapid fire in a Cats ‘n Dogs sideways “oh SHIT!storm”. This tool sets a new standard of small and uses two types of stainless steel to create a nearly undefeatable sparking device. Small enough o clip on a keychain, pack ring or just throw in your pocket. Whatever you do just don’t leave home without it.


=BLADES=

Oh sorry sir, here's your steak knife..

Knifes are just cool any way you slice it (ha!) but when the bogeys get too cloose (intentional, it’s a Lando thing) and you gotta go from fully auto to arterial spray mode, there’s nothing on the market that feels as good in your hand as a Benchmade. The first choice of U.S. Special Forces for a reason, Benchmade come in many varieties of weight and length to suit your exact specs, but we recommend the 141Nimravus Tanto, a Molle sheath compatible, 154 cm blade featuring a full-tanged anodized machined 6061 T-6 aluminum handle. I don’t know what that means but I know what it feels like in my hand. Feels like victory.
For additional functionality you got to add an all-purpose larger-scale blade. Though we don’t recommend setting up any type of long-term camp deep in the woods since Zombies have been known to roll deep in such areas, some sort of side-blade is an essential for post-human existence. The direct quote from Guru KRIS “I could take you thru the selection process but rest assured FISKARS axes are the way to go.. lifetime warranty and multiple options depending on needs...” It’s important to remember that our needs may involve kindling as well as head-splitting and limb removal. With a shock-absorbing FiberComp handle and non-slip grip, the FISKAR X-11 Splitting Axe will give you hundreds of one-strike log(or skull..) splits with perfected weight distribution, advanced blade geometry and a nearly-unbreakable force-maximizing design. We always endorse function over fashion but this baby looks sweet hanging from a leather Alice webbing sheath. Another steal at $37.99 from FISKARS website direct.

Hungry-Man

..I’m not totally sure about this one but KRIS swears up and down that the telescoping fork is a can’t-leave-home-without-it style necessity. Not rated for human meat consumption, no matter how long you’ve been working on special sauce. Another steal from Amazon at $6.27







=ILLUMINATION=

The Surefire SAINT LED Headlamp is a beauty, but runs about the same price as an X-Box clocking in at $185.00. That said investing in a virtually indestructible light source, weight with batteries 9.4 ounces, submersible to 3 feet for up to 30 minutes let-me-count-the-ways perfect may be worth forgoing the next couple copies of Call of Duty you were going to invest in. The variable-output light source is vision-field optimized and adjustable from 0 to 100 lumens even in cold or with gloved hands. The housing is made from hard anodized aerospace-grade aluminum. 2 double AA batteries will get you up to 100 hours of illumination depending on lumen variance.

Streamlight’s Knucklehead series with adjustable headstock with a Moonlight setting 20-day runtime offers engineered optics and dual parabolic reflectors within a larger textured reflector optimizes light-to-target ratio. C4 Premium LED tech offers up to 200 Lumens, the Knuckleheads are designed to put light where the sun don’t shine with the slightest of ease. 2-meter resistance tested high-impact super tough nylon polymer. IPX4-rated water resistance. Only the strong baby…

=ONLY FOR ISOLATED ROOFTOPS…=

Step in to my parlor

Eureka!’s solo series offers several variable options but the Solitaire has a durable 6.3mm fiberglass fram, shockcorded for quickset and retrieval. Floor size is 2’8”x8’ and weighs in at 2lbs. 9oz. $89.90 gets you equipped from Eureka!’s website. The Assault Outfitter 4 sleeps 4 survivors with floor space of 8’6”x7’6” but weighs a hefty 13lbs. 5oz. This is for really digging in, preferably from a snipers position or well isolated and secured cuz if yer dug in this hard you better be sure those flesh-devouring creeps are kept well-enough at bay.


This represents the first in our series of Z-Day Essentials. Thanks to Tactical Correspondent KRIS for taking time to field-test and review all of our gear. We look forward to covering ammunition and ordinance in our next episode….